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The Truth can hurt

Barbra Carlisle • June 13, 2023

Are you guilty, like me, of covering up, pushing down, masking, pretending that all is well in work? You know that things could be better but make excuses, blame yourself, blame others, blame the system. Anything but deal with the underlying issue head on. 

When you are leading your business and you recognise that something isn’t right you have the power to deal with it. You are the leader after all! However, depending on your personality type, your communication preferences and the person you are dealing with denial can appear easier than tackling the issue.


If the person you are having an issue with is a strategic partner, a co-founder, a senior hire whose role is critical to success it can feel easier to avoid the reality. This ultimately leads to miscommunication, frustration, stress and anxiety and built-up anger. It can affect your business in the short and potentially long term.


Being in denial happens when you are facing something really uncomfortable that you would prefer not to deal with. Denial is a defense mechanism that helps people cope with distressing or overwhelming situations by ignoring or rejecting the facts or consequences of the situation.


Why might you bury your head in the sand?


Personality

Some people have louder voices, less worried about what people think of them, assertive and from a combination of nature, nurture and choice enjoy problem solving, tackling problems head on. We are not all like that, especially when it comes to conflict with a cofounder, partner or senior leader as the stakes can feel high.


Consistency

People want to appear consistent with their beliefs, values, and self-image. They may deny anything that contradicts or challenges their existing views or identity. For example, a person who values honesty may deny that they are being lied to by someone


Bias.

People want to confirm their expectations and preferences. They may deny anything that goes against their wishes or desires.


Uncertainty.

People want to reduce their doubt and confusion. They may deny anything that is unclear, complex, or ambiguous.


Identity.

People want to protect their sense of self and belonging. They may deny anything that threatens their self-esteem or social status.


Ways to manage denial

Ultimately problems have to be faced and dealt with. 


  1. Think of a time when you have faced problems before, and how you came out of it. 
  2. Talk to someone you trust about what you are thinking and experiencing
  3. Work with a coach who can help you navigate how to manage difficult situations and come out feeling whole and motivated for the future.
  4. Face your fears and address the elephant in the room, it may be uncomfortable but you will feel empowered by having raised the issue
  5. Prioritise looking after yourself, in the way you eat, sleep and play. Make time to enjoy the things you can enjoy in the moment. 


Working on your communication will help you build a future for yourself and others that thrives.


Glee coaching provides a safe space for conversation, thought and formulation of actions to overcome barriers you are facing in work.


Connect with us on Linked In, Instagram or email barbra@gleecoaching.com. We are always happy to have a no obligation call with you to explore what would best meet your needs.

Managing Stress as a Leader

By Barbra Carlisle • March 16, 2025
As a leader I am sure you will agree that leadership is a rewarding journey on the whole. However, it’s often a journey that is travelled under significant pressure. The weight of responsibility, decision-making, and managing people can lead to stress that doesn't just impact you but ripples out to your team, organisation, and your family life. Recognising, understanding, and managing this stress is crucial for sustaining effective leadership and fostering healthy workplace cultures. The Dynamics of Stress in Leadership Stress manifests differently for every leader. For some, it may show up as physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or difficulty sleeping. For others, it's emotional or behavioural—irritability, indecisiveness, or withdrawal. Prolonged stress can lead to burnout, reduced productivity, and poor decision-making (Harvard Business Review, 2022). Stress isn’t always about workload. It can stem from unclear expectations, navigating complex team dynamics, or facing the weight of constant change. The challenge is that leaders often feel they must carry this weight silently, believing vulnerability undermines authority. Yet, the reality is that unaddressed stress can lead to miscommunication, disengagement, and a culture where pressure becomes the norm rather than the exception. The Ripple Effect of Leadership Stress Individual Impact: Chronic stress can erode a leader’s health, relationships, and overall wellbeing. It can lead to poor mental health outcomes and diminish one’s sense of purpose and satisfaction in work. Family Impact: The stress a leader experiences doesn't stay at the office. It can strain relationships at home, reduce emotional availability, and contribute to feelings of guilt and isolation. Team Impact: Leaders set the tone for their teams. Stress can result in less empathetic leadership, strained communication, and a lack of psychological safety. This may discourage innovation and increase turnover. Organisational Impact: Persistent stress in leadership can contribute to a toxic culture, poor performance, and higher absenteeism rates. It affects organisational resilience and long-term sustainability (CIPD, 2025). Recognising Stress Managing stress starts with awareness. Leaders need to recognise not just when they are under pressure but how it manifests. Reflection is key, as is understanding the unique triggers and patterns that heighten stress levels. Here, subtle insights from personality frameworks like the 5 Voices can offer valuable guidance. Each leadership style may respond to stress differently. For instance: • Leaders who prioritise harmony may feel overwhelmed when facing unresolved conflict. • Leaders who value precision and excellence might experience stress when faced with ambiguity or rushed decisions. • Vision-oriented leaders could feel trapped if they're bogged down in details. • Process-driven individuals might struggle when systems break down or when rapid change disrupts routines. • Empathetic, people-focused leaders may carry the emotional weight of their team's wellbeing. Understanding these tendencies can help leaders pinpoint when stress is rising and why. It also highlights that there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Managing stress is about recognising what matters most to you and ensuring those needs are met sustainably. Strategies for Managing Stress Pause and Reflect: Take time to identify stress triggers and patterns. Journaling or quiet reflection can help in recognising emotional signals early. Connect with Peers: Leadership can be lonely. Building networks where honest conversations are welcomed can provide perspective and reduce isolation. Embrace Healthy Boundaries: Knowing when to switch off is vital. Leaders who model balance encourage the same for their teams. Reframe Pressure: Sometimes, changing the narrative around challenges can reduce their emotional weight. This doesn't ignore reality but reshapes how it's perceived. Coaching Support: Engaging with a coach offers a safe space to explore challenges, build resilience, and develop strategies for maintaining balance. Coaching can provide insights into stress responses and practical ways to manage them without compromising leadership effectiveness. To summarise Stress is an inevitable part of leadership, but it doesn't have to define it. By recognising how stress manifests, understanding personal triggers, and implementing practical strategies, leaders can sustain their wellbeing and lead with clarity and purpose. To help understand what your triggers are why not take our free 5 Voices assessment here Investing in personal development and seeking coaching support is not a sign of weakness but a commitment to sustainable leadership. It ensures that the leader, their team, and the wider organisation thrive—not in spite of challenges but through navigating them with resilience and authenticity. Book a call with me here to talk through what you are experiencing and what you would like to achieve. Harvard Business Review. (2022). Managing Stress as a Leader. CIPD. (2025). https://www.cipd.org/uk/knowledge/factsheets/stress-factsheet/ Giant Worldwide. (n.d.). The 5 Voices Framework.

Progress one step at a time

By Barbra Carlisle • March 16, 2025
In leadership it’s easy to believe that success comes from having a plan and going for it perhaps with big, bold moves. But the reality? Curve balls. Progress is almost always built step by step. And that’s not just okay—it’s powerful. Let’s be tenacious! Leader’s who succeed are tenacious, they show determination and persistence in pursuing goals despite challenges and setbacks. Tenacity encompasses: - Resilience : Bouncing back from failures and continuing to push forward. - Commitment : Staying dedicated to the vision and objectives, even when progress is slow. - Problem-Solving: Continuously seeking solutions and not giving up when faced with obstacles. - Inspiration : Motivating and encouraging the team to stay focused and driven, no matter the difficulties. Tenacious leaders are often seen as role models who inspire others to persevere and achieve success. Tenacious leaders take one step at a time. The Small Step Advantage Why do small steps matter so much? Because they build momentum. Every small, intentional action creates a sense of progress, which fuels motivation and confidence over time. Recognizing small wins can significantly boost motivation and performance (HBR, 2011). Regardless of your leadership style, borne from your personality preferences, small steps help achieve goals. For leaders who value stability, small and steady progress provides a reliable foundation for sustainable growth. For those who dream big, small steps turn ambitious visions into achievable milestones. And for leaders focused on relationships, each small moment of connection strengthens trust and fosters deeper engagement. Meanwhile, those who thrive on supporting others can find meaning in everyday actions that nurture growth, while leaders driving towards bold goals benefit from breaking ambitions into clear, actionable steps that maintain momentum (McKinsey, 2022). How to Lead with Tenacity, One Step at a Time 1. Define What Progress Looks Like: Start by getting clear on what small progress means for you and your team. It might be setting weekly goals, holding reflective check-ins, or focusing on one key priority each day. 2. Celebrate Consistent Wins: Don’t underestimate the power of acknowledging small achievements. Recognition of progress—no matter how small—builds momentum and motivation within teams. 3. Embrace Uncertainty: You won’t always know the next step, and that’s okay. Tenacity means trusting the process, learning as you go, and leaning into uncertainty with curiosity, not fear. 4. Seek Support: No leader thrives in isolation. Connect with peers, mentors, or a coach to reflect on your progress and challenges. Feedback and perspective can be the catalyst for confident next steps. 5. Reflect and Refine Take time each week to reflect. What’s working? What needs adjusting? Reflection isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership necessity for long-term resilience. The Real Secret to Sustainable Leadership Success isn’t about speed or perfection. It’s about showing up, step by step, and staying committed to the journey. The leaders who thrive are those who understand that persistence isn’t about relentless hustle—it’s about consistent, thoughtful progress. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, remember this: small steps lead to big change. And that’s more than enough. Go to The Unlikely Executive Podcast Episode 5 where I explore the power of tenacity in leadership with CEO and Founder of StrokeInformation Nick Clarke. If you’re looking to build resilience and lead with clarity, this episode is for you. Take a step now Come and join me on 5 Voices for Teams programme where we cover tenacity, resilience, leadership and team performance. You get a chance to celebrate your approach to tenacity while understanding other perspectives, leading to enhanced performance for everyone. I support leaders in non-profit organisations and those passionate about Leadership for Good. My mission is to help leaders recognise their brilliance—and that of their teams—so growth is sustained and accelerated.
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