Leadership Overwhelm

Barbra Carlisle • June 8, 2023

The unspoken


It is right and fair that business leaders look after the people they hire….but who looks after the leaders?

Business leaders, and particularly those in small and growing businesses often feel overwhelmed because they’re used to putting business first and themselves last.

Where leaders are part of a partnership, have shareholders, or team members to think about, stress and overwhelm can be hard to manage at times.


What is overwhelm?


To be overwhelmed is to be buried or drowning beneath a huge mass of something. It can mean to defeat completely. Like a strong wave on a beach, you may not see it coming, or else you see it coming but stand still in its wake and become overwhelmed, thinking at first that you can stand your ground. Or you may have your back to the wave and not notice it advancing towards you.

However leaders become overwhelmed, and with what, it tends to be something many leaders don't like to admit to, and many plough on till on the brink of burnout before they seek support.


In setting up Glee last year I experienced overwhelm. I only had myself to manage and I was in control of the pace of developing my business - there was just so much to do, and I wasn't an expert in business start ups. I reflected on a 2019 HBR article to think about overwhelm as well as draw on coaching myself and talked to others to overload.


Common reasons why leaders experience overwhelm


As the name suggest, you are a business owner, a business leader, an executive. You are expected to carry the can, be the figure head, know how stuff works, and be the one driving the business to success. And you are. It is just sometimes not that easy to do.

Reasons why leaders become overwhelmed include:


  1.  Trying to be everything to everyone (inside and outside work)
  2. Trying to focus on too many things at once
  3. Being too optimistic about how much time it takes to do a task
  4. Always saying ‘yes’, including to non essential tasks
  5. Adding too many appointments and projects to their weekly calendar
  6. Not fully trusting the people around you so carrying the burden on yourself


 Ways to manage overwhelm


  1. Think about what you love doing, what you enjoy doing and what you have to do to move your company forward. Simply becoming aware of this can help you see the bigger picture and help you reframe what you need to do to help yourself feel less overwhelmed
  2. Map out your projects and tasks and prioritise – and keep checking back to see if you are working on the prioritised items not just the items you ‘enjoy’.
  3. Map out your day and week to get structure.
  4. Focus on one task at a time.
  5. Take time out daily to think about how you are sitting, what is your body posture telling you? How are you breathing? If you are feeling tense, walk away and take a breather.
  6. If you do have people around you who can help you, let them help! This could include delegating (but avoid micromanaging because this can be as stressful as overwhelm)
  7. Celebrate and give gratitude to what you are achieving on a daily basis not just what you haven’t achieved. And recognize and give gratitude to yourself for delegating
  8. Talk about how you are feeling. Talk to your loved ones, a trusted friend or a coach who can provide the space, listen without judgement and help you navigate what would work for you


Don't get caught up in thinking that you have to action all of the points above as this will simply add to you feeling overwhelmed!


A word about delegation


It is in your gift if you have people working for you, or if you are in a partnership. You can share the workload. You win no prizes for doing all the work yourself. The skill is in identifying what you love doing and do that, and surround yourself with people who can help who love doing the things you don't get any energy from.


When delegating one way to avoid stress and slipping back into overwhelm is not to fall into the trap of micro-managing.


Ways to delegate without slipping into micro managing tendencies


  1. Choose the right person for the job. This requires you to know your team and their strengths (and job roles!)
  2. Talk to them about the issue you have and explain what you need from them
  3. Provide guidance, and clarify their understanding of the requirement of them
  4. Provide resources and training when necessary.
  5. Confirm at time of delegating standards expected and timeline for delivery and how you intend to check in with them on how the work is going
  6. Follow up as agreed and verbalise your thanks on the progress made 


Coaching and Peer Support


We over 121 coaching and peer group support for busy leaders who are experiencing overwhelm and stress. Get in touch with Barbra@gleecoaching.com to explore how coaching can support your business and personal health and wellbeing.


Follow me on Linked In for more insight on leading with impact and purpose

Unlock Innovation - Talk to a Stranger

By Barbra Carlisle • April 17, 2025
Introduction Going down to London a couple of weeks ago I was looking forward to putting on a good podcast and ignoring everything and everyone around me. That is until a woman, Melanie, came and plonked down next to me, with her pile of papers and her phone ringing. Once she had taken the call, she smiled at me, I smiled back and this led to a 2 and half hour conversation on all things from professional development to managing long distant relationships. I got off the train more energised, connected and ready for the day than if I had stuck my headphones in. We arranged to meet for a coffee back in Liverpool. Why am I telling you this? Because in business, we often talk about the importance of networks and collaboration—but what if some of the most transformative insights come not from your inner circle, but from a stranger on a train, a chance encounter at a conference, or a casual conversation over coffee? The Research A recent UK study from the University of Essex (Sandstrom et al., 2022) showed that small talk with strangers can significantly improve mood, empathy, and creativity. More importantly, these fleeting interactions often lead to the sharing of ideas that would otherwise remain siloed. In a time when innovation and agility are everything, this matters. Another UK study by Nesta (2019) on innovation diffusion found that ideas spread faster in communities where “weak ties” are strong—those acquaintances and peripheral connections that sit just outside our usual networks. They introduce novelty and challenge groupthink, something every CEO navigating complexity should pay attention to. The Leadership Lens When I work with CEOs, those in peer networks always value that outside in perspective, a fresh set of eyes. When I interviewed Tom Morgan for The Unlikely Executive Podcast he highlighted the power of talking to absolute strangers. His stranger was on the side of a soccer pitch. Showing that real breakthroughs can happen when you put down your guard and just share what your thoughts and ideas are. The 5 Voices framework reminds us that each person has a unique voice—and when we only surround ourselves with people who speak “like us,” we lose access to vital perspectives. When leaders only stay within their trusted circle, something important is lost. You may protect consistency and control (a strength of the Guardian), but you risk missing the unexpected insight that could change everything. Often, it’s the Creative or Connector in the room who first sees the value in an offhand comment or a half-formed idea. These seemingly small conversations—ones we often don’t prioritise—are where innovation is born.” The Call So here’s an invitation: be deliberate about bumping into brilliance. Attend a meet-up that’s outside your industry. Talk to a stranger, say hello as a starter! This method was used by Mel Robbins to great effect when she moved home and is outlined in her brilliant book Let Them. Most of all, create cultures where your team talks beyond their silos too. You might be surprised by where the next big idea comes from—and who it comes from. Curious what kind of conversations might unlock new thinking for you as a leader? Let’s talk. barbra@gleecoaching.com

Setting up a business with Friends

By Barbra Carlisle • April 16, 2025
Introduction Starting a business with friends is thrilling. There is an overarching sense of relief that you don't have to do it alone -you can do it with your bestie! yay! Fast forward 18 months, and the Yay! can turn into Nay! Misaligned expectations, unspoken assumptions, and personality clashes often threaten what was once a shared vision. How can co-directors stay aligned—and stay friends? The Research The UK’s ScaleUp Institute (2022) found that the biggest internal challenge to scale-up growth isn’t funding or sales—it’s leadership alignment. Misalignment at the top leads to strategic drift, team confusion, and burnout. The London Business School’s study on entrepreneurial team dynamics (Lechler & Ensley, 2021) highlights that psychological safety, clear communication, and complementary leadership styles are essential for co-founder success. The Voice of Alignment Most founder teams don’t fall apart because they disagree on what they want to build. It’s how they build it—how they make decisions, how they handle conflict, how they communicate under pressure. One founder might lead with relentless vision, what I call the Pioneer perspective, while another is carefully evaluating risk (taking a Guardian perspective). One might want harmony above all else (Nurturer), and another thrives on energy and visibility (Connector). The key is not to flatten those differences, but to name and honour them.” As a co-director of a brilliant social research agency Michael and I were super excited when we set out - we even got to take clients with us! Yay! However our personalities and life stage were so so different that tensions started to arise. - One of us wanted to renegotiate the agreed starting salary - one of us didn't - One of us was a laissez faire leader, one of us wasn't - One of us put our people first, one of us didn't - One of us blended work with social life, the other just wanted to go home and be with their family - One of us was single and footloose, one of us was married with responsibilities. None of the above were unresolvable but we were unable to resolve due to lack of appreciation of each other, and pressures from around us. I wish I had sought out the support of a coach, I would have loved it if we had both had coaching before it was too late. The Call If you’re building something with someone you respect and care about, take the time to build how you build. A business plan is vital—but so is a relationship plan. Talk to one another about your needs and desires, and share your observations on how you think the relationship, not just the business is going. Let’s ensure your founding team is aligned not just on the product, but on purpose, pace, and process. If you want to run through your thoughts get in touch with me, I would love to be able to help you, and your friend, be totally awesome! https://zcal.co/barbracarlisle/30min
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