Practical leadership insights

Senior leadership comes with an unspoken contract. Be decisive but do not intimidate people. Be confident but do not dominate the room. Be passionate but tone it down. Be resilient but do not show strain. One senior leader described it like this: “People want you to be assertive but not assertive. Strong but weak. Passionate but not showing too much passion.” If that sounds contradictory, it is. And yet this is what many experienced leaders carry every day, quietly. When experience does not equal belonging In a recent conversation with a Technical Director who has spent over 20 years in a male‑dominated industry, one question stayed with me: “When do I get to belong?” This was not said from a place of insecurity or inexperience. This was someone who: - leads large, complex programmes - manages global teams - has built capability from the ground up - is objectively successful And still feels the need to prove herself again and again. That constant internal checking, am I being too much, am I not enough, is exhausting. Not because leaders cannot handle pressure. Because the rules keep shifting. The pressure nobody notices Many senior leaders normalise the strain. They tell themselves: - this is just the job - others have it worse - I can push a bit longer Until the body intervenes. One moment shared was stark. Working across multiple major projects, sleeping badly, always saying yes. And then the body simply stopped cooperating. A breakdown that arrived without warning. Not drama. Not failure. Feedback. What resilience actually looked like The shift did not come from wellness slogans or better time management. It came from three grounded changes. 1. Capacity boundaries A clear rule. If something new comes in, something else must move out. Not because of weakness. Because leadership requires judgement about capacity, not endless commitment. 2. Progress over perfection Daily focus on what can realistically move forward. Two completed tasks is not underperformance. It is momentum. 3. Perspective under pressure A recurring reminder in difficult moments: “No one is going to die.” This is not dismissive. It is grounding. It brings leaders out of panic mode and back into proportion. The quiet truth about senior leadership At the top, pressure does not disappear. It simply becomes less visible. Strong leaders are not struggling because they lack resilience. They struggle when they are expected to absorb contradiction, manage everyone else’s comfort, and never acknowledge the cost. Leadership is not about being everything at once. It is about being clear enough to lead without erasing yourself. If this resonates, it is not because you are failing. It is because you are carrying more than most people see.

There’s a moment in many leadership careers where promotion comes with a quiet trade‑off. Not made explicit. Not negotiated. But keenly felt. You’re rewarded for your expertise – and then slowly pulled away from it. In my latest podcast episode, I spoke with Dr Nike Folayan MBE (PhD, CEng., FIET, HonFREng), Technical Director at WSP, who manages a team of 40+ engineers and remains fiercely committed to technical excellence. Her experience mirrors what I see repeatedly when coaching senior leaders in construction and engineering. “I knew my strength was technical. But I was put into non‑technical interface roles – and it almost destroyed me.” This is where many leaders break. The hidden cost of “helpful” roles Nike described being moved into interface management on a major infrastructure project. On paper, it looked like exposure. In reality, it stripped away her professional identity. She was no longer recognised as an engineer – but as someone who was “good at organising”. It was a form of professional dilution. And it happens more than people think. Engineers promoted into coordination or management Specialists turned into generalists Experts trapped in meetings while others do the work they want to do Eventually, they disconnect – or leave. The issue isn’t all about capability. It’s clarity and showcasing. What allowed Nike to rebuild wasn’t luck or resilience clichés. It was brutal clarity. “You have to be very clear what you want to do – even when you’re doing roles you don’t want.” She stayed alert. She watched for technical re‑entry points. She refused to let one misalignment define her career. That’s leadership agency. For senior leaders reading this If promotion has pulled you away from the work that gives you authority and credibility, ask yourself: Where am I adding value – and where am I merely being useful? What assumptions have others made about what I should do? What am I quietly tolerating that’s costing me energy? Promotion without authorship isn’t advancement. It’s erosion. If this resonates, it’s probably time to recalibrate. You don’t need another role. You need a clearer one. Listen to the full podcast episode here or watch on You Tube here

If you’re worried about not having enough young people, including women coming into construction, you’re asking the wrong question. The real risk is what happens when you don’t use the people you already have properly. The Crisis No One Is Solving Properly Across the UK, the construction workforce is ageing faster than it’s being replenished. There are 20% more workers aged 55+ than under 25. And it gets worse: 35% of the workforce is now over 50, and only 20% is under 30. Yes this presents an industry risk, but closer to home we see organisational risk. Leaders worry about recruitment, apprenticeships, T levels, Skills Bootcamps all useful, but none of them address the real issue: Experience is walking out of the door every single day, and new capability isn’t being integrated fast enough. This is exactly what my conversation with Colin McEllin MCIOB of Clan Contracting highlighted. When a 21 year old commercial graduate joined Clan Contracting, Colin didn’t roll his eyes or think, “another kid who’s never been on a site.” He leaned into it and welcomes thoughts, ideas and advice from 'young Aaron'. Massive benefits for him, and Aaron, and the wider team. Why Intergenerational Leadership Is Now a Strategic Priority The construction sector is staring at a workforce cliff edge: • 140,000+ vacancies lie unfilled. • By 2036, 750,000 skilled workers will retire, stripping the industry of vital capability. • The UK will need nearly 1 million additional construction workers by 2032. Yet recruitment alone isn’t enough. You cannot hire your way out of this crisis. We must integrate generations on purpose, not by accident. What Younger Workers Bring (That Leaders Ignore at Their Peril) Younger talent offers: • Modern thinking around sustainability and digital tooling • Analytical approaches and better documentation habits • A willingness to question processes that haven't been updated since the 90s • A commercial lens shaped by newer training systems In Colin’s words, their thinking “took him right back to when he was 21” eager, energetic, ideas driven. You want that energy before they lose it. What Older Workers Bring (That You Can’t Replace) Your experienced people have: • 30+ years of instinct • Pattern recognition that no textbook teaches • Quiet influence that stabilises teams • Technical fluency on heritage, concrete, structure, sequencing, conservation, problem solving These people are your institutional memory. Once they go, they’re gone. And currently, UK engineering employers admit they only retain knowledge effectively from 57% of retiring staff. That is a crisis hiding in plain sight. Leadership Actions That Works 1. Create deliberate two way mentoring (not hierarchical mentoring). Younger staff teach digital skills, new processes, sustainability thinking. Older staff teach technical judgment, site sense, risk spotting. Both feel valued. 2. Give young people actual responsibility, not token tasks. The CITB plans 40,000+ industry placements a year. It means nothing if leaders hide young people in the corner. Let them make decisions, with support. 3. Systemise knowledge transfer. You cannot afford to rely on “ask Dave if you need help.” You need processes, templates, technical walkthroughs, shared documentation. 4. Remove the “that’s not how we do it here” reflex. 76% of construction workers say current training doesn’t adequately prepare people for the job. So your way probably isn’t the best way anymore. Your Competitive Advantage Is Sitting Right Under Your Nose When generations work in isolation, capability leaks. When generations work together, capability compounds. The firms who win over the next decade won’t be the ones who grab the talent, it will be the ones who blend talent. Listen to the full episode of the podcast here or watch on You Tube here About me I write about topics that my podcast guests bring to the podcast. They have years of experience with challenges and opportunities along the way, highs and lows and are in the thick of leading with purpose and passion, faults an'all. As a coach and trainer I work with leaders and their times to help them thrive, laugh, enjoy their work, be productive and to build teams of all ages.

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It sounds counterintuitive but many people feel more shame when they succeed than when they fail. Leaders describe the same sensation: an urge to minimise achievements, downplay their role, or avoid using job titles that signal authority. The psychology beneath “success shame” Research shows that shame is a social emotion triggered when we feel we’re not meeting internal or external expectations, or when we fear being judged for who we are rather than what we did. Success raises the stakes. As visibility increases, so does the fear of exposure. This is the foundation of imposter syndrome, which affects up to 70% of high-performing individuals, especially when stepping into roles that carry authority. According to psychologists, imposter syndrome is characterised by persistent self-doubt, attributing success to luck, and fear of being “found out.” Why job titles trigger discomfort Job titles serve as identity markers and identity is where shame hits hardest. Psychological research distinguishes: - Embarrassment (“I did something silly”) - Guilt (“I did something wrong”) - Shame (“There is something wrong with me”) Shame, not embarrassment, is the emotion most tied to identity, which explains why stating a job title can feel exposing. Many leaders fear that owning their title invites scrutiny they may not live up to. This internal conflict intensifies with success, when expectations feel higher, visibility increases and vulnerability rises. Others fear social disapproval or judgment for appearing “too confident.” The evolutionary and cultural roots Shame evolved as a mechanism to maintain group cohesion, effectively a social brake to prevent behaviours that risk group rejection. Modern workplace dynamics amplify this: senior roles often come with public accountability, performance pressures and comparison with peers. Psychology research highlights that success can activate the same vulnerability circuits as failure, just in different ways. Practical ways leaders can reduce “success shame” 1. Name it. Recognising shame reduces its power, literally bringing it into conscious awareness disrupts avoidance. 2. Separate identity from performance. Your role describes what you do, not who you are. 3. Rehearse your job title neutrally. Build comfort stating it without caveats or humour. 4. Assign credit accurately. Neither minimising nor inflating your contribution: just being factual. 5. Use mentoring or coaching to normalise visibility discomfort. Exposure is easier when shared. The leaders who struggle most with shame are often the ones who care deeply, lead well and hold themselves to high standards. But owning your authority isn’t arrogance, it’s clarity. And you deserve it! If you are struggling with your identity as a leader just get in touch and we can talk. email barbra@gleecoaching.com

A Sector Under Pressure The UK construction industry is slowly diversifying which is great news. BUT the data shows progress is still painfully uneven. Women now make up around 14.7–15% of the overall UK construction workforce based on recent ONS and industry reports, but only 1–2% work in on-site trades, and just 7% hold senior leadership positions. Even when women enter the sector, they are disproportionately funnelled into administration, design or management support roles rather than operational or technical tracks. Industry surveys show 81% of women are in admin/design roles while only 1% are in skilled trades, highlighting the structural gap in visibility and progression. Why mentoring matters and why it’s missing Women repeatedly point to lack of visibility, sponsorship and informed guidance as barriers that begin as early as secondary school. Studies report that young women still receive outdated or discouraging advice about construction careers from school mentors and advisors. Even once inside the industry, women may find it difficult to find the right mentors who understand the cultural terrain: navigating male-dominated teams, bias (one in three women experience workplace gender bias), and the isolation of being the only woman on a team or site. Formal mentoring programmes like Construction for Women have shown measurable benefits like - increasing confidence - improving retention - widening access - access to new opportunities - better understanding on how to navigate a career in construction BUT uptake across the broader sector is inconsistent. We need more active mentors who show up for their mentees. The commercial case for mentoring The push for more mentors isn't just a touchy feely nice thing to do - it makes absolute business sense. - Diverse teams make better decisions and solve problems more effectively. - Companies with strong inclusion practices see higher productivity and retention. - A wider talent pipeline protects the industry from skills shortages. Evidence from diversity and inclusion studies shows that representation boosts performance, innovation and workforce stability. Practical steps construction leaders can take now 1. Build structured mentorship pathways not informal “tap on the shoulder” systems that favour those who look like current leadership. 2. Integrate mentoring into apprenticeship routes especially for young women entering technical roles. 3. Champion internal female role models as visibility is fuel. 4. Track progression data by gender: eliminate blind spots in promotion and training. 5. Equip male leaders to mentor women effectively as this isn’t just “women supporting women”; it’s about shared responsibility. 6. Use an external specialist like a qualified coach or mentor to support your male and female mentors, providing a safe space for them to learn and share their experiences of mentoring, and gaining practical skills like listening as well. Mentoring isn’t a “nice-to-have”. It’s the infrastructure that enables women not only to enter the sector but to stay, grow and lead. If you want to find our more about mentoring programme support email barbra@gleecoaching.co.uk

inclusion, equity, sustainability, human factors, human rights, diversity, all words used to talk about cultures that create positive financial returns