Being a Leader isn't easy

Barbra Carlisle • February 24, 2023

Supporting yourself and others

There is no instruction manual on being a leader. The way you think, act and behave needs to attract people to you. You need to know yourself and be able to read other people. How do you develop impact as a leader and who supports you?

Common leadership dilemmas where offering a space to think has helped include:

  

  • Entrepreneurs with growing businesses who are unsure how to best lead their growing team and keep everyone happy and engaged


  • Business owners who realize that the management style they adopted as a startup isn’t working that well as the business evolves, recognizing they need to evolve as leaders


  • People curious as to what more they can do to have an impact, and how their personality traits, values and strengths influence how they show up

 

Research shows that cascading solutions onto others is less effective than enabling people to think and create their own solutions. My life as a coach began when colleagues and friends began seeking me for advice on how to manage others, how to influence, how to get a better work-life balance and how to live their values. As Director of Equality, Diversity and Inclusion in the construction sector, I learned that people want to be empowered to make their own choices and forge their own path, they don’t need ‘saving’!

 

I don’t have time!

Giving people the time and safe space to think is a passion of mine. My favourite moments in coaching are when people ‘suddenly get it’. They have thought about a problem and can see a solution or an alternative path. When teamwork has led to creative thinking and new ideas – you can feel the vibrancy and passion in the room.

Interestingly, more and more leaders are working with a coach for fresh perspectives and to challenge their own thinking. Time to think is not always comfortable, but often leads to significant personal & business growth. It takes courage and curiosity to focus on yourself when there are fires to put out, clients to please, financial targets to reach and employees to manage. Giving time for personal development may seem like a luxury. It isn’t and shouldn’t be.

 

My people & clients come first

Great leaders want their people to grow, often prioritising the learning and development of their employees over their own. When budgets are tight, isn’t it prudent to train your best people to make sure they stay? Indeed it is, but to maximise leadership impact proactive leaders invest in their own development and wellbeing.

 

I am unique

Personal growth and development are just that: personal. Time you give to personal development needs to be worthwhile, and something that actively influences your thinking, actions and behaviours well after the training event is over.


Impactful learning can include:

  •         Personal Development:            personality trait work, one to one coaching.
  •         Team Development:                 action learning, team coaching, design thinking.
  •         Business Development:             strategic planning, bespoke learning modules 
  •         Community Impact:                 connecting investment in learning with community benefits aligning personal vision to community prosperity and wellbeing.



Strengths and values

Most people set up their businesses based on personal core values, values often held since childhood.  Similarly, employees seek out employers where business and personal values match. My business embraces my values of:

·        Authenticity

·        Creativity

·        Uniqueness and

·        Community.

 

Throughout my own career, including roles as a public sector strategist, charity campaigner, local authority researcher and global corporate director of social impact and diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging, integrating my values around empowerment for social good has been central.

It’s personal

I believe that following your true passion is the root to contentment. It isn’t easy as you see people appearing more successful, more confident, more dynamic. Coaching was a natural step for me, but it still took courage to set up a business. I have done time on the HR circuit, I have gained valuable coaching accreditations and I am comfortable that I have made a positive contributed to societal and business benefit throughout my career. I ensure I surround myself with people who can support and challenge me, including a coach or two!

I am always open to connecting with people who want to make a bigger impact, people responsible for the growth and wellbeing of others, and those who are curious to know more about how to lead with impact. Having someone in your corner who is there to listen, encourage and nurture your thinking can have a significant impact on how you show up every day.

For more insight on leading with impact and the potential power of coaching visit www.gleecoaching.co.uk

The secret sauce: Influence

By Barbra Carlisle • July 9, 2025
As a leader you know you have influence, you know that people will listen to you, and in all likelihood do as you suggest. It is how you utilise your influence that will determine what type of leadership impact you have on those around you. Whether you’re trying to shift culture, win support for a new idea, or champion inclusion influence is a key leadership skill. But for many, it’s a tricky balancing act. How do you make change happen without coming across as forceful or aggressive? How do you influence people who don’t think like you, especially when what’s at stake really matters? Here’s where skill, self-awareness, and empathy come together. Influence does not equal Aggression Let’s start by busting a myth: being assertive isn’t the same as being aggressive. Assertive leaders speak up for what matters, clearly and calmly, without bull dozing others. Aggressive leaders push their agenda regardless. The difference? Assertive leaders stay connected to their values and to the relationship. You can be clear and firm about your point and hold space for difference. That’s real influence. Three Skills That Build Influence Curiosity over convincing Don’t assume you have to launch into persuasion. Start by listening. Ask what matters to the other person. Influence flows more easily when people feel heard. Maintaining silence and letting the other person express themselves is a form of influence. Try it some time. Speak from shared values Especially when trying to bring people on board with new or uncomfortable ideas (like improving equity or supporting underrepresented groups), connect your message to values they already care about like fairness, excellence, community. Use stories, not just facts Data matters. But stories stick. A personal story whether that is your own or someone else’s can shift perspectives more than spreadsheets ever will. Influencing People Who Aren’t Like You We all have unconscious preferences for people who think like us. But change rarely happens in echo chambers. When you need to connect with someone whose background, identity, or worldview is different from yours: Start with respect, not assumptions. Avoid jargon or insider language. Focus on what matters to them, not just what matters to you. Be open to mutual influence, you might change too. A Small Shift, A Big Impact Influence isn’t about charisma. It’s about connection. Next time you're tempted to “win them over,” pause. Instead, ask yourself: “How can I help them feel seen, heard, and part of this?” That’s the influence that sticks and the kind that shapes cultures for the better.

Leaving a Legacy: It's in your hands

By Barbra Carlisle • July 9, 2025
One of the names I thought about using for my podcast related to legacy- but on reflection I knew that people would be uncomfortable thinking that they were leaving a legacy. Sounds so grand. But we do leave a legacy, which we create and add to every day. When we hear the word “legacy,” our minds often drift to grand, long-term achievements, think buildings named after someone, organisations reshaped, or books written. But in truth, your legacy isn’t something you build one day in the future. You’re creating it now. In every meeting, every decision, and every conversation. Yet many leaders struggle to recognise that they’re already leaving a mark, whether they mean to or not. Why Do Leaders Struggle With Legacy? Partly, it’s to do with your mindset. We are wired to focus on outcomes, targets, and the next milestone. We don’t stop to think about how we get there, or who we bring with us. There’s also humility at play. You may be thinking "Legacy? That’s not for me. I’m just trying to get through the day without cheesing too many people off." But legacy isn’t about ego. It’s about impact. The energy you bring to the room. The way you treat people when they’re not in the room. The values you quietly reinforce by what you praise, tolerate, or ignore. Everyday Marks of an Effective Leader A legacy-minded leader isn’t one who waits to be remembered. They act with intention now. That might look like: Modelling integrity even when no one’s watching. Championing the quiet voices that others overlook. Creating psychological safety that allows others to thrive. Investing in people even when it feels quicker to just “do it yourself.” Leading with empathy, especially under pressure. Contributing to societal wellbeing through your actions in work, at home, and in your community. These things often don’t make it onto the project plan. But they shape culture. They influence people’s confidence and courage. And they last far longer than a quarterly result. A Gentle Prompt Take a moment this week to ask yourself: “If someone were to describe my leadership five years from now, what would I hope they say?” Now bring that intention into the way you lead today. You’re already building your legacy one conversation at a time.
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