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Trusting Friends to enable Leadership

Barbra Carlisle • March 16, 2025

How friends can help us unlock our leadership potential 

Taking on a senior leadership role, whether Project Director or Chair of the Board, is a significant milestone. When you think about why you took your last role do you recall seeking advice from others on whether the role was right for you? 

Nick, in the throws of trying to recover from a stroke, was encouraged by a fried to write a blog. The friend had created a blog page in anticipation of Nick’s answer. Nick had been thinking about writing a book, but recovery was slow, so he accepted his friend’s challenge to start writing a blog. The blog gained momentum, ultimately resulting in a charity for stroke survivors being set up by Nick. Well timed actionable encouragement indeed!

We are often influenced by the advice and encouragement of colleagues and friends, even if in reality they know very little about what your 
day job is! 

While this support can be invaluable, it's essential to navigate the pros and cons of acting on others' advice and maintain control over your choices.

Pros and Cons of Acting on Others' Advice

Pros:
• Diverse Perspectives: Friends and colleagues can offer different viewpoints, helping you see challenges and opportunities from various angles.
• Emotional Support: Trusted friends provide encouragement and reassurance, boosting your confidence in making decisions.
• Experience Sharing: Colleagues who have faced similar situations can share valuable insights and lessons learned.

 Cons:
• Over-Reliance: Relying too heavily on others' advice can lead to a lack of personal accountability and decision-making autonomy.
• Conflicting Opinions: Diverse perspectives can sometimes lead to conflicting advice, making it challenging to determine the best course of action.
• Pressure to Conform: Feeling obligated to follow friends' advice can result in decisions that don't align with your values or vision.

Staying in Control of Your Choices

To maintain control over your choices while benefiting from others' advice, consider the following strategies:

Reflect on Advice: Take time to reflect on the advice you receive and how it aligns with your goals and values.
Seek Multiple Opinions: Gather insights from various sources to ensure a well-rounded perspective.
Trust Your Instincts: Ultimately, trust your instincts and make decisions that feel right for you.
• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to ensure that you remain the primary decision-maker in your leadership journey.
• Work with a Leadership Coach who can challenge you in a non-judgemental way to help unlock your own thinking about a situation or an opportunity 

Take a step now 
If you want to find out more about Nick’s journey please visit The Unlikely Executive Podcast Episode #5 where I explore how Nick Clarke CEO of StrokeInformation stepped into his role. 

If you are curious to know how other people’s actions and intentions influence your decisions come and join me on the 5 Voices for Teams programme where we cover personality preferences, communication, getting your message across and what it is like to be on the other side of you.

I support leaders in non-profit organisations and those passionate about Leadership for Good. My mission is to help leaders recognise their brilliance—and that of their teams—so growth is sustained and accelerated.

By Barbra Carlisle March 16, 2025
As a leader I am sure you will agree that leadership is a rewarding journey on the whole. However, it’s often a journey that is travelled under significant pressure. The weight of responsibility, decision-making, and managing people can lead to stress that doesn't just impact you but ripples out to your team, organisation, and your family life. Recognising, understanding, and managing this stress is crucial for sustaining effective leadership and fostering healthy workplace cultures. The Dynamics of Stress in Leadership Stress manifests differently for every leader. For some, it may show up as physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or difficulty sleeping. For others, it's emotional or behavioural—irritability, indecisiveness, or withdrawal. Prolonged stress can lead to burnout, reduced productivity, and poor decision-making (Harvard Business Review, 2022). Stress isn’t always about workload. It can stem from unclear expectations, navigating complex team dynamics, or facing the weight of constant change. The challenge is that leaders often feel they must carry this weight silently, believing vulnerability undermines authority. Yet, the reality is that unaddressed stress can lead to miscommunication, disengagement, and a culture where pressure becomes the norm rather than the exception. The Ripple Effect of Leadership Stress Individual Impact: Chronic stress can erode a leader’s health, relationships, and overall wellbeing. It can lead to poor mental health outcomes and diminish one’s sense of purpose and satisfaction in work. Family Impact: The stress a leader experiences doesn't stay at the office. It can strain relationships at home, reduce emotional availability, and contribute to feelings of guilt and isolation. Team Impact: Leaders set the tone for their teams. Stress can result in less empathetic leadership, strained communication, and a lack of psychological safety. This may discourage innovation and increase turnover. Organisational Impact: Persistent stress in leadership can contribute to a toxic culture, poor performance, and higher absenteeism rates. It affects organisational resilience and long-term sustainability (CIPD, 2025). Recognising Stress Managing stress starts with awareness. Leaders need to recognise not just when they are under pressure but how it manifests. Reflection is key, as is understanding the unique triggers and patterns that heighten stress levels. Here, subtle insights from personality frameworks like the 5 Voices can offer valuable guidance. Each leadership style may respond to stress differently. For instance: • Leaders who prioritise harmony may feel overwhelmed when facing unresolved conflict. • Leaders who value precision and excellence might experience stress when faced with ambiguity or rushed decisions. • Vision-oriented leaders could feel trapped if they're bogged down in details. • Process-driven individuals might struggle when systems break down or when rapid change disrupts routines. • Empathetic, people-focused leaders may carry the emotional weight of their team's wellbeing. Understanding these tendencies can help leaders pinpoint when stress is rising and why. It also highlights that there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Managing stress is about recognising what matters most to you and ensuring those needs are met sustainably. Strategies for Managing Stress Pause and Reflect: Take time to identify stress triggers and patterns. Journaling or quiet reflection can help in recognising emotional signals early. Connect with Peers: Leadership can be lonely. Building networks where honest conversations are welcomed can provide perspective and reduce isolation. Embrace Healthy Boundaries: Knowing when to switch off is vital. Leaders who model balance encourage the same for their teams. Reframe Pressure: Sometimes, changing the narrative around challenges can reduce their emotional weight. This doesn't ignore reality but reshapes how it's perceived. Coaching Support: Engaging with a coach offers a safe space to explore challenges, build resilience, and develop strategies for maintaining balance. Coaching can provide insights into stress responses and practical ways to manage them without compromising leadership effectiveness. To summarise Stress is an inevitable part of leadership, but it doesn't have to define it. By recognising how stress manifests, understanding personal triggers, and implementing practical strategies, leaders can sustain their wellbeing and lead with clarity and purpose. To help understand what your triggers are why not take our free 5 Voices assessment here Investing in personal development and seeking coaching support is not a sign of weakness but a commitment to sustainable leadership. It ensures that the leader, their team, and the wider organisation thrive—not in spite of challenges but through navigating them with resilience and authenticity. Book a call with me here to talk through what you are experiencing and what you would like to achieve. Harvard Business Review. (2022). Managing Stress as a Leader. CIPD. (2025). https://www.cipd.org/uk/knowledge/factsheets/stress-factsheet/ Giant Worldwide. (n.d.). The 5 Voices Framework.
By Barbra Carlisle March 16, 2025
In leadership it’s easy to believe that success comes from having a plan and going for it perhaps with big, bold moves. But the reality? Curve balls. Progress is almost always built step by step. And that’s not just okay—it’s powerful. Let’s be tenacious! Leader’s who succeed are tenacious, they show determination and persistence in pursuing goals despite challenges and setbacks. Tenacity encompasses: - Resilience : Bouncing back from failures and continuing to push forward. - Commitment : Staying dedicated to the vision and objectives, even when progress is slow. - Problem-Solving: Continuously seeking solutions and not giving up when faced with obstacles. - Inspiration : Motivating and encouraging the team to stay focused and driven, no matter the difficulties. Tenacious leaders are often seen as role models who inspire others to persevere and achieve success. Tenacious leaders take one step at a time. The Small Step Advantage Why do small steps matter so much? Because they build momentum. Every small, intentional action creates a sense of progress, which fuels motivation and confidence over time. Recognizing small wins can significantly boost motivation and performance (HBR, 2011). Regardless of your leadership style, borne from your personality preferences, small steps help achieve goals. For leaders who value stability, small and steady progress provides a reliable foundation for sustainable growth. For those who dream big, small steps turn ambitious visions into achievable milestones. And for leaders focused on relationships, each small moment of connection strengthens trust and fosters deeper engagement. Meanwhile, those who thrive on supporting others can find meaning in everyday actions that nurture growth, while leaders driving towards bold goals benefit from breaking ambitions into clear, actionable steps that maintain momentum (McKinsey, 2022). How to Lead with Tenacity, One Step at a Time 1. Define What Progress Looks Like: Start by getting clear on what small progress means for you and your team. It might be setting weekly goals, holding reflective check-ins, or focusing on one key priority each day. 2. Celebrate Consistent Wins: Don’t underestimate the power of acknowledging small achievements. Recognition of progress—no matter how small—builds momentum and motivation within teams. 3. Embrace Uncertainty: You won’t always know the next step, and that’s okay. Tenacity means trusting the process, learning as you go, and leaning into uncertainty with curiosity, not fear. 4. Seek Support: No leader thrives in isolation. Connect with peers, mentors, or a coach to reflect on your progress and challenges. Feedback and perspective can be the catalyst for confident next steps. 5. Reflect and Refine Take time each week to reflect. What’s working? What needs adjusting? Reflection isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership necessity for long-term resilience. The Real Secret to Sustainable Leadership Success isn’t about speed or perfection. It’s about showing up, step by step, and staying committed to the journey. The leaders who thrive are those who understand that persistence isn’t about relentless hustle—it’s about consistent, thoughtful progress. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, remember this: small steps lead to big change. And that’s more than enough. Go to The Unlikely Executive Podcast Episode 5 where I explore the power of tenacity in leadership with CEO and Founder of StrokeInformation Nick Clarke. If you’re looking to build resilience and lead with clarity, this episode is for you. Take a step now Come and join me on 5 Voices for Teams programme where we cover tenacity, resilience, leadership and team performance. You get a chance to celebrate your approach to tenacity while understanding other perspectives, leading to enhanced performance for everyone. I support leaders in non-profit organisations and those passionate about Leadership for Good. My mission is to help leaders recognise their brilliance—and that of their teams—so growth is sustained and accelerated.
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